DVSN provides a variety of programs and services, from direct services to clients to community outreach and education programs. One that serves both of those categories is our Volunteer Advocate Training. Typically held twice a year, this 40-hour intensive training brings together those interested in becoming volunteer Advocates with DVSN, police officers from our 13 partner communities, and local service providers we work with. All trainees who activate as Advocates continue with an additional 12+ hours of training and mentoring in the Advocate office before taking solo shifts, as well as regular in-service professional development meetings and our Seasoned Advocate Training Institute (SATI) to learn more about various resources and enhance their knowledge and skills. DVSN staff members also go through this training. Whether or not they choose to volunteer as Advocates, the training ensures they are well versed in the many complicated aspects of domestic violence and how DVSN works to support our clients.
This fiscal year, DVSN welcomed a new Executive Assistant to our staff, who participated in our most recent training class. While not activating as a regular Advocate, she does talk to clients who call our office line and occasionally interacts with clients in person. As someone with little prior experience in the world of abuse advocacy in general and DVSN in particular, we asked her to share her perspective on the training in a blog post. She put together some detailed and personal reflections conveying her experience of the training, things she learned, how it made her feel, and how she can apply it to her job. Read on for her words from the heart.
I joined DVSN in late summer of 2025, excited to bring my skills to the small team behind its lifechanging programs. I was enthusiastic to become educated in everything about this essential field but only had peripheral experience in the realities of domestic violence. Upon being hired, I was told I’d be joining the next cohort of students for DVSN’s fall Volunteer Advocate Training – a three-week, 40-hour, intensive course where volunteer civilians, police personnel, and community service providers come together to deepen their understanding of domestic violence and DVSN. The class met three times a week at the Lexington Police Department. Our group of roughly twenty students gathered to listen to the presenters of topics ranging from the dynamics of domestic violence, risk assessment, and safety planning to the roles of police officers, Advocates, and other public service providers. Sometimes, it was DVSN staff leading the training, whose direct experience with clients was invaluable. Other times, experts were brought in to discuss topics such as the effect of interpersonal violence on children and the court systems we guide our clients through. Interwoven in every session was time dedicated to self-care and emotional reflection given the vicarious trauma that can be experienced when learning about such heartbreaking topics. DVSN’s support group facilitator led somatic breathing exercises and provided regular breaks for centering and emotional regulation.
All the speakers were able to answer the questions from the room in a way that fostered our curiosity and encouraged us to ask more. Given the variety of backgrounds participants come from, there was a shared understanding that no matter who posed a question, there was something we all could learn. There was no judgment in the room. Just compassion and a shared desire to understand how we can help. The training solidified tangible skills and perspectives each and every one of us could take away from each session. The police took back a knowledge of what they might leave behind after departing from a domestic incident. The Advocates understood the enormous scope of pain behind one call. And I will take back to my job the truth behind the numbers, emails, and logistical details. Real people and real trauma.
Before training, I entered my position ready to complete various administrative tasks with a general idea of how domestic violence could manifest in the world around me. I truly had little idea just the scope of its insidious nature and how widespread the problem can be. It’s a nightmare that can plague anyone regardless of class, gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion. It was humbling to realize that there is a kind of twisted equality in this type of suffering. In my month of employment before training started, I answered a few call-ins to our administrative office from clients intending to reach our confidential Help Line, and I responded as best I could with guidance from my staff mentors, but the training imparted in me a better perspective on what clients really need to hear. The people who ask for help or a listening ear are not only brave beyond belief, but also incredibly competent and determined. The distress I felt before training that my words couldn’t possibly fix anything dissipated once I understood that my job isn’t to fix, but to listen and sympathize. Safety planning doesn’t necessarily mean organizing a client’s practical situation but emboldening them to do what they know is best for themselves and reassuring them that they aren’t alone.
My new perspective was formed in part by the presentations given by the speakers, but also by my fellow classmates. Our variety of backgrounds allowed for an encompassing and nuanced picture of domestic violence, though we all had more to learn. For example, many of us come from current or past occupations that require us to be mandated reporters, people who are legally required to report suspected or known instances of abuse to the relevant agency or authority. From police officers to teachers, retired nurses, and myself as a massage therapist, we learned together why DVSN Advocates are not mandated reporters. Our Help Line is entirely confidential in order to foster a strong sense of trust and to empower clients with respected consent. When we put on our Advocate “hat”, we leave our outside occupations at the door. The trainees who shared this shift in perspective were able to empathize with and understand each other. No matter what lives we were coming from, we were all ready to be educated to best serve DVSN’s clients.
I am someone who enjoys learning regardless of the subject, so I went into the sessions eager to be trained in something new. If I could tell myself one thing before I had started, it would be to check in with your body. I have experienced various modalities of trauma therapy, and even with all the tools and self-awareness I’ve cultivated, it still took me by surprise how treacherous and widespread the issue of domestic violence is. The training was delivered with gentleness, humor, and an immense focus on self-care, but even so, by the end I felt a deep – and necessary – grief for all those who have experienced harm from someone they trusted and even loved. The breathing exercises and grounding techniques in every single class were profoundly helpful, and I wish I’d taken more time to continue them on my own, particularly when my mind would start to drift towards the stories and calls our Advocates receive. The discomfort I felt was but a fraction of the trauma our clients face, and so I believe allowing myself to experience its depth will only allow me to do this work with more compassion and gratitude for every client’s bravery. That said, making intentional space to ground myself and reestablish my internal calm is so important, especially to maintain the stamina to continually hear these devastating stories.
The systems this country operates on are far from perfect. I believe we all came away from training at one point thinking “I wish there was more I could do.” I wish that police could protect victims who are not in a safe enough position to come forward or who fear what the police response will look like. I wish those who support victims could provide every resource they need and that options weren’t limited by money or availability. But as we were reminded throughout the training, we do the best we can. I will take that phrase with me into every area of my life. We could succumb to the guilt about all that is out of our control, but that would help no one, not our clients nor ourselves. As the wise Gandalf the Grey once said, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” And for all of us that took this training, we decided to listen. Listen to survivors of domestic abuse, listen to those who trust the police, and those who have had negative experiences. We listen to every person we connect with – it’s the most powerful tool we have. Our clients are intelligent, courageous, and competent. What they need most is for someone to believe in them. And at the end of the day, belief is a power that we can control in totality, regardless of a court ruling or a 911 call that didn’t end up helping the victim. As Advocates, nothing can stop us from believing in our clients, and the future they’re fighting for. This empowerment is what the training imparted in me, after the grief and shock hardened into determined resolution.
To any of our readers who are considering taking the training to become a volunteer Advocate at DVSN, we welcome you with open arms and all the support you will need to undertake this vital work. Bring with you the confidence that your perspective matters, and you do have the power to support someone in changing their life. It cannot be done without an aching heart, but the community of trust we foster in choosing to help those in need is worth every empathic sting. As if opening your eyes and feeling the burn of overwhelming light, you eventually adjust, and you do not regret choosing to see the world in all its truth. Because in every story of violence and pain, there is a survivor striving to overcome who wants to share in our hope. And we get to walk alongside them on their journey, which is an honor and a privilege.
Thanks so much to our newest staff member for sharing such personal, thoughtful, and eloquent reflections on her training experience! For additional perspectives on DVSN’s training, check out DVSN’s December 2024 blog post, “Chatting with a Chief: An Interview with Carlisle PD’s Chief Amendola”, which heavily features his experience taking our training, and our March 2021 blog post “Profile of a DVSN Advocate”, which includes quotes from many of DVSN’s Advocates on their experiences and motivations from training through to working with clients. DVSN’s next Volunteer Advocate Training is coming up soon, in March 2026. Those interested in more information about the training and/or wanting to request an application can call (978) 318-3421 or e-mail training@DVSN.org.
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